Dragon Age: Descent

The Adventures of Unconscious Dave

Land Ahoy! What land? That land! I don't see any land? It's over ther- oh wait. It's gone again. (repeat as necessary)

- Excerpt from the diary of Ezri Delmastro -

Fifth day of voyage (I think), evening.

Well, that couldn’t have gone much worse.
Note: never get on a boat again. Ever.

Managed to cling to a bit of debris, along with Alissa (alive) and Lucien (barely alive), when the ship disintegrated. Valeros (alive), Malign (very much alive) and Dave the sailor (unconscious, but alive) had also managed to get hold of something. As we drifted away from the wreck, Valeros gave our little raft an ‘ahoy there’, and we had a go at hooking the debris together.

Looking ahead, I could see Simon and the other sailors in front, floating on upturned tables. Zane and Zach were there, fishing some of the other sailors out of the water, and the Captain was still clinging to his red-head, but I couldn’t make out much more. Valeros, hero that he is, dared to look back.

According to him, the sea serpent was busy smashing up the remains of the ship and seemed unconcerned with our bedraggled little raft – for now, anyway. Malign, Cleric, seemed pretty relaxed about the whole situation. Weirdly relaxed. Inappropriately relaxed.
Note: Beginning to suspect Malign may be an imbecile…
Alissa took it pretty well – she managed to keep calm, at any rate.
Note: My healing skills clearly a contributory factor to her impressive mental stability.
Lucien got quite wobbly and seemed pretty distressed, almost losing his grip on the raft.
Note: He had his healing from Malign. Inferior healing, obviously.
Valeros, a veritable pillar of strength up to this point, suddenly began to look unsure and panicky.
Note: Could just have been the thought of all that delicious bacon sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
Dave, the unconscious sailor, remained unconscious.

As for me? I fainted. Not terribly heroic, I confess, but hardly surprising considering all that had happened. Someone must have lifted me onto the raft because when I came to myself, Lucien was in the water and I was sprawled on the rubble next to unconscious Dave (still unconscious).

Alissa started splashing excitably, pointing to an empty bit of ocean and shouting ‘land ahoy’. Began to doubt her mental stability at this point, but thought it best to humour her. Had a quick search for magic and could feel something, but not very clearly.
Note: Are sea serpents magical?
The others were trying to convince her there was nothing there, when she suddenly shook her head and declared, sounding very irritated about it, the island had disappeared.
Note: Starting to feel like déjà vu…

Valeros, who clearly has more testosterone than sense, seemed keen to go back and finish off the sea serpent. Not entirely sure what his battle plan was, and how he intended to defeat a sea serpent with Alissa hallucinating islands, Lucien wounded, both healers exhausted and unconscious Dave still unconscious, but I guess you have to give him credit for trying.

Luckily, I sighted land and managed to distract him. Half expected everyone to say ‘what land?’, but it appears my eyesight (and mental stability) can still be depended on. Unluckily, the distraction was all too much for our poor, brave, man of honour. Valeros fainted.

Think I may have been infected with some of Valeros’s heroism, because I immediately dived off the raft to help him. Clearly, I am no (wo)man of honour, because I missed Valeros completely and started sinking. It appears I didn’t miss Lucien, however, and he had to be hauled (unconscious) onto the raft with my boot-print on his forehead. Oops.

Malign managed to get me back to the raft to assess the casualties. Valeros: unconscious. Lucien: unconscious. Unconscious Dave: unconscious. Me, Alissa and Malign? Still conscious! Three out of six isn’t bad, right?

Valeros recovered himself fairly quickly, actually, and looked heartily ashamed of his fainting fit when he did. I healed Lucien myself. He looked pretty annoyed when he came round, but I pretended not to know what he was talking about and told him a bit of the debris had come loose and concussed him. He didn’t look entirely convinced, but I think I got away with it.
Note: Probably best to keep him away from mirrors until the bruise on his forehead is a bit less foot-shaped…

Changing the subject, I suggested we lash the debris together a bit more tightly, and point ourselves towards the shore. This, we did. Well, most of us. Dave, the unconscious sailor, remained unconscious.



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